So Sharon Angle basically sums up why I throw up a little in my mouth every time I think about politics back home: Latinos look Asian, she's Asian (?), and undocumented immigrants are terrorists – from Canada! And after proving herself at once ignorant and incompetent (and pissing off everyone else in the Americas – even Canada!), there's somehow still a real race on between her and Harry Reid!
But I’ll tell you something shocking: here on the wild and dangerous borderlands, I have seen this sort of clandestine migration firsthand. This is a story about just what happens when you try to cross into the United States with the wrong intentions:
This individual – a fellow student – has a chronic history of volunteerism. When Katrina devastated New Orleans, he was there. Coincidence? But this was only his first foray into the dark world of altruism… He was later recruited to Habitat for Humanity, an unrepentant terrorist cell headed by Osama bin Jimmy Carter that constructs palaces for welfare queens. Later, things really got out of hand when he signed up to volunteer at a Jewish youth camp. Who knows what mischief he might have wrought between making lanyards and kosher snack time!
Well, good thing that Border Patrol has their priorities straight and a keen eye for troublemakers! This time, when he tried to cross the border—BAM!—handcuffed and sent back to where he belongs: the terrorist hinterlands of Vancouver!
I cannot possibly overstate the nature of the threat posed by their dangerous rhetoric about volunteerism and its blue-helmeted big brother, peacekeeping. Canada is a nation of rapscallions and ne’er-do-wells famous for making cheap drugs and apologies. We simply can’t have that sort of thinking infiltrating our borders! That is why he was handcuffed, hustled into a government car, and driven to the Canadian side of the highway.
No volunteer visa? Well then it’s back to the igloo for you!
This would be hilarious, folks, if it weren’t symptomatic of total mass hysteria. Because this actually went down as an arrest, every time he goes through US customs now, he is directed to secondary screening. What a pathetic use of money and manpower (not to mention a great way to humiliate, frustrate, and infuriate the only people in the entire world with enough inexhaustible politeness to share a 3000-mile border with us). Well done, US of A.
It is very disheartening to see how quickly the politic of fear is gaining over the politic of hope. FDR said "Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself". Indeed the terrorists attack of 9/11 wouldn't beat us but the promotion of fears may.
ReplyDeleteNote to Sharon Angle,
ReplyDeleteYou should have USCBP be on the look out for a certain young lady now enrolled in grad school in Vancouver. Although she might pass as a true-blue (red and white) American she definitely looks a little Latvian to me. I have it on reliable information that she might just sneak through that porous border and attempt to buy cheaper milk and gas in Bellingham, Wa. More importantly she has considerable knowledge regarding water management and is planning to organize some diversion of major fresh water rivers back in to Canada. This will do serious damage to the ability to maintain fountains and golf courses in Las Vegas. The Latvian threat is there, it is growing and a northern fence is definitely in order.
.......a concerned if somewhat suspect Canadian passport holder.
@MVMG -- it's really very sad.
ReplyDelete@Zack -- HAHAHA! Hilarious!
I have a friend that was pulled aside and held in customs because she had visited Thailand. Oh yeah, that means she's got a backpack full of coke for sure. She also has a lot of stamps in her passport because she is... gasp... a travel loving backpacker. That must mean she's trafficking drugs! Oh yeah, she's Canadian and was coming back into Vancouver. Must be a part of the same gang as your friend.
ReplyDelete