31.10.10

Hooray! An Update!

Vancouver goes nuts on Halloween. Costumes, firecrackers, the works! I was Liz Lemon.

You can’t see the full outfit, but the total effect was pretty badass.

Anyway, I’ve been terrible about updating for two reasons:

1. Despite all of the promises that Leo’s visa situation would be resolved by the end of September AT THE LATEST, there has been absolutely no progress. Every day that passes now feels further from any sort of resolution and not closer to a reunion. It’s unbelievably painful. At this point, I think we’ll have to change his ticket again (he’s got one for the end of November). I just want to be able to spend Christmas together, but I very much doubt that it will happen.

2. Grad school is hellish (and I actually mean that in the best possible way). I picked this department because it was in Canada, I liked Vancouver, and they had a Program on Water Governance. It turns out that this is an outstanding department in the Geography world, and compared to my peers (and, God forbid, the professors), my work is middling – at best. It’s beyond humbling.

Grad school-related insecurities are quite unforgiving. For once, success it’s not based on how pretty you are, who you know, your social intelligence (not in the least!), or even how hard you work (because we all spend every waking hour working). It’s about how clever you are. Plain and simple. And that cuts closer to the core of who you are than almost any other measure. Now, multiply those insecurities by exposure to true brilliance several times over, and you’ve got my current situation.

Then there’s the work load. To do the absolute bare minimum, I worked out that I would need to spend 65 hours per week on school work. That’s just to keep my head above water. Doing a good job would require me to put in closer to 80. There comes a point at which you have to deny yourself essentials in other parts of your life – like human contact (in case you ever wondered why academics are the way they are).

Of course, I still love grad school (it’s sick, I know). I wanted to be here because I love to learn, teach, and write. Moreover, I have a great many burning questions about water governance that I would like to try to answer. But that said, I’m not convinced that I can cut it. I also really wish I could get more than 6 hours of sleep a night…

24.10.10

Sunday...

Hello dear friends! I had all sorts of fantasies about getting a big presentation done today and posting on the blog, but alas! It will have to be another Thursday post... stay tuned!

20.10.10

Our Northern Border

So Sharon Angle basically sums up why I throw up a little in my mouth every time I think about politics back home: Latinos look Asian, she's Asian (?), and undocumented immigrants are terrorists – from Canada! And after proving herself at once ignorant and incompetent (and pissing off everyone else in the Americas – even Canada!), there's somehow still a real race on between her and Harry Reid!

But I’ll tell you something shocking: here on the wild and dangerous borderlands, I have seen this sort of clandestine migration firsthand. This is a story about just what happens when you try to cross into the United States with the wrong intentions:

This individual – a fellow student – has a chronic history of volunteerism. When Katrina devastated New Orleans, he was there. Coincidence? But this was only his first foray into the dark world of altruism… He was later recruited to Habitat for Humanity, an unrepentant terrorist cell headed by Osama bin Jimmy Carter that constructs palaces for welfare queens. Later, things really got out of hand when he signed up to volunteer at a Jewish youth camp. Who knows what mischief he might have wrought between making lanyards and kosher snack time!

Well, good thing that Border Patrol has their priorities straight and a keen eye for troublemakers! This time, when he tried to cross the border—BAM!—handcuffed and sent back to where he belongs: the terrorist hinterlands of Vancouver!

I cannot possibly overstate the nature of the threat posed by their dangerous rhetoric about volunteerism and its blue-helmeted big brother, peacekeeping. Canada is a nation of rapscallions and ne’er-do-wells famous for making cheap drugs and apologies. We simply can’t have that sort of thinking infiltrating our borders! That is why he was handcuffed, hustled into a government car, and driven to the Canadian side of the highway.

No volunteer visa? Well then it’s back to the igloo for you!

This would be hilarious, folks, if it weren’t symptomatic of total mass hysteria. Because this actually went down as an arrest, every time he goes through US customs now, he is directed to secondary screening. What a pathetic use of money and manpower (not to mention a great way to humiliate, frustrate, and infuriate the only people in the entire world with enough inexhaustible politeness to share a 3000-mile border with us). Well done, US of A.

17.10.10

Sunday...

Folks, grad school is putting me through the ringer. There will be no update today. I may try to update later this week, so check back.

No news on visas. I'm beginning to wonder if Leo will even be here by Christmas... It's not helping the stress levels or exhaustion.

10.10.10

Happy Thanksgiving (in Canada)

Not too much news this week... although some happy news for once! Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving, which meant that I was able to take a short trip down to the US to see a kindergarten friend married on Saturday. It's pretty incredible to have known someone that long (about 80% of our lives) and to be able to share in those milestones.

K (who of course looked stunning) and C (who also looked quite dapper) tied the knot in a picturesque little chapel in Aspen, CO and then threw a raucous reception (complete with Backstreet Boys dance music... K's grandmother can seriously bust a move, and not like a granny move; I mean legitimately shaking her thang).

The most touching part was that the wedding was nearly free; family friends provided everything from the catering to the venue to the serving and decor -- a real community event (not something you'd think about happening in Aspen, huh? Well, rethink rethinking stereotypes). K's little sister also performed, and is a very talented singer/violin player; she was the break-out performance of the evening! Fabulous people, perfect couple. I'm just delighted for them. Thanks also to my parents who let me use a mileage ticket to make the trip and a welcoming Canadian expat who put us up for the evening!

I've been to a handful of weddings now, and I'm ashamed to say that I think I may be a wedding weepy. It's awfully unexpected because I'm not at all a wedding person, but I just get chills thinking about the "to have and to hold" bit, and I just can't keep it together. It's such a profound pledge between any two people... So know this now: if you invite me to your wedding, I will sob and make your photos all red-faced and puffy-eyed. Hot.

Things got hairy Sunday morning as I was trying to fly out, though; I got to see the other side of Aspen -- mountain escape as entitled elite enclave! As the airport sound system played (I kid you not) "Don't Worry, Be Happy," we were told that our flight would not be leaving and in fact that as the bad weather closed in -- combined with an equipment malfunction -- no one would be arriving or leaving.

"Oh God. Oh God," moaned the man next to me, "How could they...? How--?! What about Bob and Jenny... can we call them? They're going to Denver today... if they're driving to Denver maybe... but WHY WON'T THEY PICK UP THEIR PHONES?! Hey, hey, pick up your phone! We need to talk to you! Who doesn't have their phone on them?!" (Look of extreme disgust.)

"You can't re-route me through Kansas City!? But I need to make those connections in order to get my United Premier status!" (Empathetic murmuring.)

"Why wasn't there an ad about this?! Why weren't we informed?! Someone should have said something."

So these are the decision-makers. The privileged elite. The best and brightest. No wonder the economy is still in the dumps and almost none of today's pressing issues have been positively addressed. I mean, God forbid they encounter a canceled flight!

...Although we have built up incredible stress around flying: the lines, the shoe ritual, the humorless officials, the looped recording reminding us all that "the threat level is orange" -- or a "high risk of terrorist attacks." (By the way, as long as we have a scale rating our daily probability of being blown up, it's never going to be "blue.")

I ended up hitching a ride with other stranded members of the wedding party down to Denver, and I'm currently posting from DIA (thank goodness for free WiFi) while I wait for my 7 pm flight. Don't worry, be happy!

5.10.10

Update

D is back at his apartment this evening. He knows that he won't have long in the US; his lawyer told him "I can represent you, but it won't make a difference; I would just be taking your money, and I don't want to do that to you." He's already talking about how happy he'll be to see his mom.

"How is he always so happy?" I asked Leo.

"To trick the sadness," was his characteristically Brazilian explanation.

D was told by ICE that they've got a new program that lets folks await deportation in relative liberty. Detainees are fitted with a GPS ankle bracelet and allowed to return home. This might not seem like a big step, but it really is; dealing with these issues for work about a year ago, I was told that the only way that ICE agrees to something like this is when there are minor children at home and no one to take care of them, etc... (which, if you're familiar with what happened in New Bedford, you know isn't even the whole truth, either). We fully expected D, as a single man with no kids, to wait out the intervening months in jail.

As he was getting fitted with the ankle bracelet, D thought that the immigration officer was cursing him out. Only after several uncomfortable minutes did he realize that the officer was exhausted and exasperated with the ankle bracelet itself. Finally, the officer straightened up and said, "I'm going to trust you. This isn't working. Do you understand me? Do you understand English? This is broken. You need to come back here tomorrow. I'm going to let you go now, but you need to promise to come back tomorrow. I don't want to arrest you again. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I don't expect that this is part of the new policy, mind you; I think it's simply one of those inexplicable and incongruous interactions that spring from the clash of human conscience and state-sponsored persecution; sometimes in the absence of official protocol, we accidentally do the right thing. And D will go back tomorrow when they open at 9 am because he wants to do right, even by a wrong system, which I admire very much.

I am also 0.000001% more hopeful today than I was yesterday that the Obama administration is trying to make ICE a bit more humane officially -- even as they're on target to deport more immigrants than ever before. Am I that desperate? So desperate that I'll be happy with a kinder, gentler deportation? I guess it's because when you know the folks in the cogs of what everyone says is a broken machine, you just want to see them make it out the other side in one piece -- never mind the ideological questions.

2.10.10

Everywhere is Arizona

This is the story of our good friend and groomsman from our wedding, who I will call “D.”

I’ve sometimes thought of D like Haiti personified. He can’t catch a break, and when you think it won’t get any worse for him, it invariably does; after weathering slavery, colonial rule, dictatorships, poverty, and hurricanes – BAM – earthquake. And yet I have never seen D with anything but a smile on his face and goodwill in his heart. I know we say those sorts of things about folks when they’re down on their luck, but I mean it; he is a man who – by all of the protected, white, middle class, American standards that shape my worldview – should be hateful, spiteful, and miserable. And yet, he is unwaveringly kind. He is infinitely generous. He is unfailingly joyful.

And as of Friday, he is also in immigration detention.

Following a totally unremarkable traffic stop in Boston, a rather ambitious police officer decided to take D into custody and call immigration. For those of you who might not have known, local law enforcement does not need an Arizona SB1070 to call ICE. It happens every day, everywhere. Enterprising officers assume it’s their responsibility to enforce laws they don’t begin to understand. They don’t come from departments with 287(g)s, and the more righteous officers don’t think they need them; as far as undocumented immigrants go, these officers are the law and their conduct goes totally unremarked – invisible – just like the lives that they cavalierly dismantle.

D, in his infinite optimism, thinks maybe there’s a chance that he’ll get a hearing, paroled, and permission to stay. While I want that to be true, he is one of the 70% of Brazilians in Massachusetts who lack any path to documentation, having arrived after the last vestiges of compassion were stripped from US immigration law. He will be deported following a month or two in detention.

Waiting for him in Brazil is his loving mother, whom Leo and I met in Belo Horizonte. They might as well be carbon copies of one another: loud, loving, innocently inappropriate, wholly incomprehensible, and undeniably likable. It would be a happy reunion except that she’s the reason why he went to the United States, why he braved death to cross the border, and why he’s endured hardship and humiliation to stay.

Several years ago, D’s mom suffered a stroke that left her partially paralyzed. D’s father – an irresponsible drunk about whom she still chortles in glowingly nostalgic tones – had already left the picture. D worked odd jobs to support his mom. One made him famous in the Belo Horizonte “favela” of São Thomaz.

D made deliveries in a rusted-out, junk heap of a van. His own Brazilian version of Little Miss Sunshine, D could only get the van running if it was going fast enough to engage and slip into gear, so every morning he started his day by pushing the van up the enormous hill a block from his home. From the top of this hill, you can see the intersection below – tiny and distant – but the middle of the hill drops from view, so steep it appears to bend back in on itself.

“Eh meu irmão! Me ajuda aí!” Help me out, brother! D would call to any passers-by as he heaved the van uphill; the neighbors soon learned to make themselves scarce in the morning hours. Once most of the way up the hill, D would clamber into the van and go whizzing down – shifting, honking, and yelling at the little old woman sweeping out her storefront to “Sai da frente!” Get out of the way! The van didn’t have any brakes either. The daily ritual gained legendary status and that stretch of road became known as O Morro do D. D's Hill.

He did anything he had to in order to keep bread on the table. He tried his luck in Rio de Janeiro – and still fancies himself a Carioca – and sold water bottles by the side of the road. Anyone who’s been to Brazil knows that at the even the slightest snarl in traffic, hawkers of all kinds materialize with armfuls of oranges, water, biscuits, and kitsch trinkets. Whenever I saw them in Brazil, I tried to imagine D on the median hollering “água gelada! Um real!” cold water for a buck! It was hard to picture given his immaculate and dignified, if working-class, lifestyle in the US.

Eventually, D had the opportunity to go to the US chaperoning a younger cousin making the trek. He was heartbroken at the thought of leaving his mother, but his brother and sister promised to look after her. He knew that with what he could earn in the States, he could make her much more comfortable than selling water or making deliveries in Brazil.

After D arrived in the US, his siblings immediately began vultureously scavenging of the money he sent for their mother’s care. When D’s mother became too much of a burden, his brother put her in a cab and sent her to D’s sister. D’s sister returned the cab to her brother. Each refused to care for their mother, and in the end, D’s petite, wheelchair-bound mom was left hapless and unwanted in the street.

Finally, D’s aunt took her in. D saved up enough money working in the US to remodel a downstairs apartment in his aunt’s home and found a qualified nurse to care for his mother. She’s been happily accommodated in her little abode for some time now, well-cared for by her nurse and kept company by D’s aunt’s family. After Leo and I visited D’s mom, D confessed to Leo that he thought sometimes about returning to Brazil, that he missed his mother.

“Don’t come back,” Leo told him, “Your mother is comfortable. She is well-cared for. You couldn’t provide for her this well working in Brazil.” D certainly wouldn’t be able to pay for the nurse; from the US he has been able to pay her as much as or more than he himself would earn in Brazil. Without a nurse, however, caring for his mother might prove to be D’s fulltime job in Brazil – without any pay.

Does the officer who took the initiative to call immigration know any of this? Would he care? Despondent during our Skype call today, Leo thought up an especially fitting punishment for the officer, “I want to take that officer and lock him in a room with only videos of D’s mom to keep him company.” Let him look at that tiny, hard-luck optimist in her wheelchair, dabbing at her half-paralyzed mouth with a towel, sometimes confused but never despairing and always singing the praises of her beloved son who would go to the ends of the Earth to ensure that she was well cared for.

I do wish that that officer could grasp the magnitude of what he’s just done to a kind man and his frail mother, peeling D’s clinging fingers off of the ledge of modest financial security and smugly celebrating his fall back into the chasm, into a neighborhood filled with drugs and violence and a life of perpetual, unvanquishable poverty.

I think about two other friends – Y and L for the purposes of this story – whose world came crashing down in much the same way. Y was an Ivy Leaguer and community leader; L was her ambitious partner from El Salvador. I had the rare opportunity to meet the officer responsible for shattering their future. I don’t think he was an ideologue; he ran L’s name because of a seemingly sketchy encounter that was in all truth quite innocent, but when L’s name came back with an “ICE hold,” the officer had no legal choice but to call ICE (L’s hold was from when he was brought to the US as a minor, given an immigration court date, and then taken to another state by his father; L never went to court and a hold was automatically placed on his name).

The officer let Y and L see each other at the station, talk for hours, even hug – minimal in human decency terms but enormous given the context. I will always remember the strapping young officer with the bearing of a family man as he looked at me and asked “but what happens to them now? I mean he’ll get a hearing right?”

“No. He’ll be deported back to El Salvador.” (He was.)

And as I watched the officer looking at the two of them wrapped in a desperate embrace, I felt vengeful righteousness but no small amount of pity; this officer didn’t want to tear apart two kids in love – he never intended it – but given his power, given that he was the catalyst that reduced their dreams to rubble, I felt it entirely just that he see every tear, every sob, every shaking caress – that he understand the consequences.

But there are other officers who never get that close to the consequences. Panicking over the possibility of Leo’s visa being denied (and the resulting move back to Brazil), I sometimes fantasize about storming into the East Boston police station and demanding to see the officer who thought it appropriate to arrest Leo for a $50 driving offense. I imagine myself slapping the Canadian rejection letter onto the table and asking him if he had the slightest notion of the harm he wrought. I would ask him to look me in the eyes and tell me that it was worth it – that his moment of righteousness was worth my graduate education, Leo’s technical education, the potential for a financially stable home, and the opportunity for us to follow our dreams.

But that’s immigration’s butterfly effect.

Somewhere in Boston, an officer stretches his wings, and a hurricane thrashes through lives half way across the world – a frail stroke victim in Brazil, a “widowed” Ivy Leaguer, and an aspiring academic in Canada.